Had a terribly lonely week last week. Didn’t feel like stepping out and couldn’t stop ruminating over thoughts of lost love for almost four days in a row. Eventually, the week picked up though. I met some people. Crazy how that helps.
If I’m being fully honest, I do feel a bit tired of plainly introspective writing. I’ve decided I’m going to publish poetry on here as well. And I’ll count it as a full post since it takes much more effort from me to complete one of those.
The other day I mentioned “content creation” as something that I perhaps actively would want to do, and I realized that it was the first time I said that out loud. I think I always had this image of content creation not being a ..respectable (?) activity? Because I always that there’s too much content to consume. I guess I need to find the case for content creation.
Personally, what had initially drawn me to it was of course, validation and compliments over stuff I made. Or just the feeling of being seen. But eventually, I think I’ve realized there’s a little more to it. There’s resonance and connection. The more I accept that I do seek connection with other humans, the more I can see how things I create help me feel it.
I think it’s got a little bit to do with owning these dimensions of yourself. Whether you’re making Instagram reels over silly things, or making covers of music that you like, or clicking pictures of things that appeal to you – there’s a layer of judgement which you’ve shed in order for you to share it with the world. It’s natural that connection would follow.
Plus, isn’t that the ultimate (or perhaps, only) cure to loneliness? Moments of connection, even if they are fleeting or temporary?
But, I also heard something about over-expression being the bane of our generation. How it can lead to a lack in actual intimacy between people. Is this worth paying attention to? I don’t know. If I think of the people closest to me, I don’t think emotional intimacy’s missing in any of those, so maybe I don’t have to worry about this just yet? There’s never a shortage of things to talk about or do.
Okay so I’m almost at 400 words now. To summarize,
- A little tired of plain, introspective writing. Need some variety. Poetry is a good option.
- I have a case for content creation – clarity and acceptance (for self), feeling seen and heard, resonance and connection (with people). Probably a good counter for feelings of loneliness too.
- Over-expression doesn’t seem like a problem yet. Can potentially learn a little more about this though.
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I wrote this almost a couple weeks back so I’m adding a little more to it, since I don’t think I have enough stuff for a separate post, and this one was missing a bit anyway. Had the 4th July long weekend this weekend and it ended up being super-duper social. For the first time in a couple months I felt like I didn’t get enough of the “sleeping-in” time or “me” time or “chores” time. (Don’t think all of these words need the quotes but eh.)
Oops, I just realized it’s already midnight and my evening has completely gone by in a blur. Time to get ready for the last holiday of the long weekend tomorrow!
Also, my god the last 10k words have been a drag. Definitely need some more (and potentially different kind of) motivation to keep this up.
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