Excited about all the music in my life right now. I ordered a second-hand keyboard, looking forward to setting up near my window and eventually playing some jazz on it. I want to remember how it takes time to build the skills, I can’t expect much in the first couple months. But I might do a Take Me to Church cover pretty soon.
I want to find more people to jam with, I want to get more involved in all of this. I’m going to fix my sleep schedule and spend more of my weekends playing and creating more music.
I “created” some bits of music in the last couple of weeks, it was huge for me because for some reason I always thought it was impossible to do. Which is weird, since other parallels never seemed as tough. You get colors, you’re okay throwing them on a blank canvas and seeing what comes up. You get words, you’re able to make sentences and prose and even poetry out of them. But for some reason, even though I always had the notes (i.e the building blocks), I never thought of forming melodies with them.
I think I always stopped at whether “it made sense” or whether “it was good enough” (even just in my head) to even attempt it. I’m amazed at how long at it took me to get here, and all the forces that must have been at play to get me here. But I’m happy I’m finally here.
I also want to learn a little more of music theory. Jacob Collier’s masterclass has been incredibly inspirational. I do think you have to find the romance in everything that you like for it to truly be inviting. I’m allowing myself to dream and daydream (again).
I don’t know how to be organized about all of this, though. Prioritizing and sorting through all of these small half-baked ideas seems like a chore. And the only motivation to do that is to increase executive function. How do you resolve the conflict between discipline and freedom?
I also don’t enjoy “production” as much. I think it requires much more of all of the discipline and the organizational skills. It feels plainer, less creative. You have to really like the pieces you have and you’ve to really believe they matter for you to spend time and effort on putting it all together.
Then there’s the other part to this, lived experiences. What stories do I want to tell, what part of life is interesting enough to share? These blog posts don’t matter, even the most trivial thought-clouds I don’t mind sharing on here. But with music, do I want it to be a little more? I guess it’s like any other thing. Maybe it’s a numbers game. Maybe I need to start from the basics. Just put numbers on the board. Once I make ten melodies, maybe I can think about the quality and the actual content.
Dreams do have their own place, but eventually it’s the execution that’ll move us forward.
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