Personal – Page 6 – untitled atm

084a – sleepless + abundance mindset + resignation

New neighbor that I have no way of contacting is drumming (it’s the middle of the night) and I can’t sleep. Obviously, sleep has been tough even otherwise but it’s extra tough with this added problem. I have brunch plans for noon so this is quite painful. Not sure if I’ll be able to wake up on time.

Funnily enough, I’ve been toying with the idea of buying a drum kit since I’ve been learning them for a few months now— and I’ve been super confused between an electronic and a steel kit, and even though I knew acoustic kits can be super loud I was still considering getting one, hoping that maybe since there’s no one around on my floor I could still get by. But now that I know someone is nearby AND is equally annoying as I am— this could go either ways. One thought is that I’ve been pre-given a taste of my own potential medicine, and the opposite possibility is that “hey, we could both annoy each other”.

I’ll write this and then do some reading and just hope that they eventually stop. If there is a god then I’d love to get at least 6 hours of sleep tonight.

I’ve been having nice conversations with friends lately and I get such a kick out of stimulating conversations that it sometimes feels so dry when you don’t have that going with other people. Where this is coming from is that lately I’d been trying to be more accepting of different kinds of relationships and dynamics in my life, I was trying to spend time with people even for other things apart from conversation— ie good feelings that come from other things like a ton of shared context, shared past, physical affection, and just.. non-words, in general. But I don’t know, when the words are good, that makes everything so much more fun.

I’ve been thinking about abundance mindset a lot lately. With art, I think I’ve incorporated it a good amount into practice as well. For example, creating “more”, posting/sharing “more”, expressing “more” and with “more” types of people, so that you are not tied to specific things. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, as they often say.

With friends also, I’ve gotten better at this. Make more friends (to the extent you can without a quality compromise, of course) for different parts of your life, perhaps. I wouldn’t say this is a cope to “loneliness” necessarily because I don’t think more friends can solve this really, at some point you also do need to be okay with being lonely, etc. However, it’s nice to have different friends for different interests, and different kinds of activities etc, I do believe it results in greater resonance than attempting to mould existing friends for everything.

It’s been toughest for me with romantic interests and romantic relationships, though I’ve gotten much better at it over the last few years. It’s a hard thing to learn and accept really but at the end of the day you cannot make very few specific people the centres of your universe. And the trick is to not necessarily have to make “your own self” the centre of your universe or whatever, the trick is to really have just MANY centres in your universe.

Obviously for me that’s consistently been friends, family, animals, nature, music, writing, art, tv, books, philosophy, and a little bit of spirituality for a good amount of time now. But then on some nights (nights like these), I cannot use my usual faculties to feel okay, and that’s when things feel quite tough, I suppose.

*Sigh*. It is what it is, I guess. I’m going to make something to eat now and then read a bit. Hopefully, I’ll get to sleep soon.

083 – reflections

Alright, January is here. I did some reflection earlier in November, but I’d also known I’d want to do it January, again. (It’s so much fun!) Luckily, my sister sent me a guide that she found which looks pretty interesting. So I’m just going to use that format to do this.

(Always) make your questions bigger than your answers

Q: What was the biggest question I answered this year and why was it important?

Hands down has to be the question around how much do I enjoy art and creative pursuits, and how much time can I spend on these activities. The enjoyment is unparalleled, these activities give me a sense of deep joy and fulfilment, something that I only get from nature and people otherwise. I don’t know yet whether I can spend 40 hours on these activities but if I keep cycling between them in some way or the other, I can. This was important because really it feels like a way of life and I probably want to design my life in a way that I can keep enough time and energy for it.

Q: What are the three questions I want to gain answers to in the next year, why are they important?

What do I like more between music and writing? If at all there is an answer to this— or what would I like to prioritise, or focus more on? I do think I get more unadulterated joy out of music, but I’m not a 100% sure yet. I do think I need both in my life. It’s important because prioritisation is very important to output, and I’d want to have clarity on this.
Am I able to look at Delhi or any other Indian city as a place I can settle in, long-term?
What is my relationship with gender, masculinity and femininity?

(Always) make your purpose greater than your money

Q: What achievements over the past year most aligned with your purpose? What are you most proud of?

Moving to India (because it helped me spend more time with art and music)
Starting drums and learning keys more
Doing more songwriting
Music open-mics, poetry open-mics
20-30K words on my blog, started substack, wrote a lot more poetry

Q: What impact do you want to have over the next year? What actions will give you the greatest momentum toward this goal?

(Attempt to) release an EP (or a single at the least)
Write more songs
Try out more production
Collaborate with more people (find people with complementary strengths)

(Always) make your confidence greater than your comfort.

Q: Looking back over the past year, where did you expand out of your comfort zone? In what ways are you more confident now as a result of this expansion?

All the achievements I’ve listed above involved a lot of stepping out of my comfort zone. I’ve done a lot more exposure therapy wrt my anxieties as well. Even before to India, I’d done a lot of new things in Amsterdam itself. (Meeting new, diverse people, poetry open mics, more biking, etc). I’m definitely a lot more secure as a person lately, or at least a lot more accepting of me, my flaws and my limitations. I post a lot more without thinking about it, I invite people in my inner circle more easily. I trust “vibes” and frequency a lot more than “thoughts”— which is only a result of positive experiences which have come out of an inherent trust in life and the universe.

Q: What new commitment will require a jump in capabilities over the next year? What will be possible in making this leap?

Since releasing an EP is my biggest, most-important goal in the coming year, I would need a lot more trials, experimentation, technical skills, etc to make it all happen. Primarily I feel very blocked by the idea of sound mixing and editing and whether I want to do it myself or find other people to do it will become important to answer. But I can only know by trying it out, so I will need to get over that blocker and just do it. Making an action plan can help, I imagine. Which I will- this week.

(Always) make your cooperation greater than your status.

Q: What is an example of extraordinary teamwork or collaboration from this past year that created a big breakthrough?

Q: What teamwork will be essential to your multiplier goals this year?

Kind of the same here. Do a lot more collaborative music projects as opposed to solo projects. Learn to rely on other people for things that I’m not very good at, especially if they’re willing to do it. (For example, mom for help with house decoration etc, domestic help for taking care of house maintenance, food, etc), so on so forth.

(Always) make your enjoyment greater than your effort.

Q: Looking back over the past year, what activities, team- work, or projects provided the most enjoyment?

Q: Going into next year, what strategies or delegations will free you up to focus more on the activities that fascinate and motivate you most?

Again, this is the same here. I’ve already been focused on joy and fulfilment more than other things. So, pretty sorted with this.

(Always) make your gratitude greater than your success.

Q: Who are you grateful for in your life right now? are they important to you?

Q: What can you do to demonstrate or express your gratitude to these people?

Note that success to me is waking up happy, having a decent day, and going to sleep on time or getting enough sleep in the day, doing my healthy things, not resisting negative feelings that come my way, not resisting external situations too much. That being said, I feel like I do express a good amount of gratitude for the good people in my life. So, again, kind of sorted on this. Will obviously also make a Bangalore trip to visit close friends and kind of thank them, in a way. I suppose since quality time is my love language, I tend to prioritise that for people I love. But maybe I can also look at how people like to receive gratitude, and not just rely on quality time.

(Always) make your performance greater than your applause.

(Always) make your learning greater than your experience.

(Always) make your future bigger than your past.

Looking at these questions, I’m realising that the answers for me are pretty much centered towards creative pursuits (esp music), so I’m just going to leave the last few questions unarticulated, since they’re pretty repetitive even in my mind.

I’m linking the doc here in case anyone’s interested in referencing it for their own reflections!

Happy new year, cheers xx

082b – seriousness

Thinking about meaning and usefulness lately.

re: meaning

Lately I’m realising I do like assigning meaning to things. (I mean, I’ve always known this but it’s only lately I’m realising how automatic, strong and frequent this process is for me.) Obviously, this contradicts a little bit with mindfulness, and I’m still not sure how much I must allow myself to extract meaning out of events. Sometimes I think that we do have roles to play in this world, because otherwise there isn’t a point.

Or if life or sentience is even, simply put, a random occurrence, even then, if assigning meaning to it makes it easier for me— then why not?

I suppose it is only the “attachment” to the meaning (whatever that is for you) that might make it a problem. I guess, if we can practice connected detachment, then meaning can probably serve as a good guiding star.

What is the problem, then? I suppose the problem is it’s hard to keep a check on how far you can constantly get lost in the narrative. If you don’t keep your meaning-assigning-parts in check, or if you don’t regularly question them, or put them through scrutiny filters, you might end up away from awareness.

Okay, where is all this coming from?

I was having a discussion with some people and someone claimed that “life shouldn’t be too serious” and I think I got somewhat triggered by that statement. I went on a bit of speech on how “life is serious, actually” and how there’s wars happening and how people aren’t being nice and kind to each other and all of that is serious. But now that I recognise that maybe that’s not what that person was claiming at all, I suppose, I need to apologise to them. (Oops)

But I do feel strongly about how humanity needs to be better. I don’t know what this is exactly but I clearly need to explore this more, otherwise I might get keep getting triggered every time someone says anything along the lines of “life isn’t that serious”.

Of course, I recently came across this which I’m planning to read soon because it might be helpful for me. And something I read probably from the same essay was that the trick is to “not take your self too seriously but it’s okay to take your work seriously” and that does resonate with me a lot. I’ve now accepted that my work isn’t about me necessarily but I am the vessel that’s doing the work and for me to do it well it makes sense that I would take it seriously. Even if I’m having fun, I tend to be serious about having fun, if that makes any sense at all. And maybe another thing to remember is that people just function differently, maybe “taking things lightly” allows some people to live an easier life— and that’s okay— but for them to generalise this for everyone is what I don’t necessarily like.

So, I suppose part of the problem is just accepting that I am a serious person and I do take “life” and the world and many things that we have in front of us seriously. Whatever that means, really.

I’ll talk about usefulness another time, I don’t feel like getting into it at the moment.

Happy last day of 2023, I hope you don’t resist whatever comes your way 🙂

082a – happy and jittery

“Everything is real” is my new cope to life instead of the earlier cope that was “everything is fake”. Well, it’s more like when you find the things you actually like and resonate with it’s easier to say that everything is real. Or maybe it comes back to the connected detachment theory that is “everything should be honoured but nothing matters”. So this would be somewhat equivalent to “everything is real but also everything is fake”.

I’m really happy these days and I know that happiness comes with a lot of vulnerability (such is the nature of happiness) but something I’ve learned is that nothing lasts forever so now I really make it a point to enjoy the happiness while it lasts, and be grateful for it for as long as I can be.

The universe and life will of course continue to ebb and flow but we gotta really enjoy the good stuff, it’ll be hard to cope with the bad stuff otherwise.

I want to take some time out to find and join dance classes soon because I really feel called to it and I’ve been delaying (procrastinating) for a while now.

I also discovered a superb spirituality treasure trove which I’m excited to explore more, especially as it also has a bunch of stuff on relating art and spirituality, which is something I’ve been thinking about anyway.

Admin tasks are still very tedious to do but I don’t know if there is a way to get around to doing them, since we do live in a society after all. Maybe the trick is to do them as soon as possible, so they don’t linger on my head and creative negative feelings. I’d like to work on this a bit so I can reduce the tediousness.

Being consistent with a meditation practice is still something that I need to incorporate because I can keep thinking and talking about spirituality but it’s only when I engage (or not engage) with the thoughts am I truly attempting to practice it. I cannot keep talking about the thing if I truly want to access any of it. (Related)

My mind is still active though, and I need to go back to cutting caffeine a little bit because I definitely find myself getting affecting by that a bunch.

The main thing on my mind right now is still “how do you do tasks that do not feed your soul”? Like really, how do you do them? I sometimes feel such visceral resistance to them that it becomes almost impossible to do them. Maybe I need to sit with the resistance. Or maybe I just haven’t accepted that some of them are really, actually important.

I made a list though, at least that’s some progress.

Okay, that’s all for now. I’ll be back soon! xx

081b – joyful

Heart is full. Had three consecutive days around people I love and I couldn’t be happier, I think. As I’ve mentioned multiple times before, I was pretty worried about December, productivity, social obligations etc etc, but I think this time I was finally able to show up where I really wanted to, and say no to the things I really didn’t want to do. Feels pretty great to be able to do this.

Life has become much easier now that I’ve started expressing myself more and more, without thinking too much about it. I think I learnt how to do this most from a couple people I met over the previous year. I don’t know whether I just have a “backlog” of unexpressed feelings and thoughts or whether I genuinely will stay the same over the next few years, but I’m excited to find out.

I’m also finding a lot of pleasure and joy in bonds that are not necessarily solidified or spoken about in words. That is, where words aren’t the primary form of communication and affection. Of course, quality time and physical affection have always been important to me but I always used to think that bonds are stronger and more real when you can talk about your thoughts and feelings explicitly. But I’m making more space for relations where words are not our strong suit, and yet I know they are valuable relationships and maybe I don’t want to give them up.

The good thing about expressing in large “quantities” is also that you start to then get a more wholistic opinion of your art and skills. Giving up perfectionism has been one of the best things for me and my art and expression journeys. You start to feel seen over the small things and slowly it all accumulates to give you big positive feelings as well. My belief in the value of “body of work” is getting stronger, basically. And it’s not that you don’t give your whole heart to these little things, it’s just that you’re okay with perhaps 7/10 or 8/10 satisfaction and you complete+share those things anyway. We’re just human, doing human things after all.

I’ve also opened my heart to dogs and kids again (as silly and obvious as that sounds) and it’s been wonderful. It’s so silly that we have these very easily available sources of joy and sometimes we forget to tap into them as much as we should be. Tldr; it’s never too late to unlock “new” sources of joy.

I guess the trick after all is to find positive feelings in the easiest and most satisfactory way possible and release negative feelings in the easiest and most satisfactory way possible. I like this framing, I’ll sit with this a while.

Stay safe and sound xx

081a – growth recommendations

Haven’t done this in a few days. There’s something about private journaling that’s just not cutting it. Almost like the reverse of what used to happen— that is, journaling used to be better than writing in public because I would feel more free. However since I feel sufficiently free here as well, I feel better when I write here, since it then adds towards goal-completion pursuits. Journaling sometimes feels like “lost progress”.

I’ve gotten a bit into Myers-Briggs and other personality tests again lately and though I know they can be a bit harmful (esp for people like me), I couldn’t stop myself from indulging in them. I think some of the findings have been interesting and can be potentially helpful too, actually, if I can take some time out to process them properly.

The INFP thing I’ve been pretty comfortable with, but a friend recommended the Enneagram test to me as well, and that’s been a lot more stimulus than I was expecting. I test to be a type-4 at the moment and everything that’s listed in the “growth recommendations” is stuff that is quite.. intense, for the lack of a better word.

The top two things that stick out, that also feel tough to implement right away, provided I’d even want to, are:

Don’t pay so much attention to your feelings— this is quite tough since the last few months have been me actually paying a good amount of attention to my feelings. I think the meaning I’d want to assign to this is that feelings are valuable, and I definitely want to validate them, take my time to “feel” them perhaps (through activity and action as much as possible), but maybe I need to have time-caps on this, because spending more time than needed on any of the feelings can be harmful, of course. Maybe I want to cut myself off before it becomes “indulgence”.
Avoid putting off things until you are “in the right mood.”— this is also something I’m quite guilty of. I do tend to take a lot of time to do things because I generally believe I don’t do good work if I’m not doing it from a good state of mind. While I thought I had gotten quite better at dealing with these perfectionist tendencies, maybe there’s some more work to be done. I think if I had to be real, I’ve gotten better at this from one end only— for example, I’m now okay with leaving things at “90%”, but maybe I also need to be better at “starting things”— even when I don’t feel like I’m in the best state for them.

The general theme seems to be that action, activity and discipline would be much better for me than fantasy and indulgence. Of course, this is something I know and I’ve been attempting to get to a point where I can think about implementing this, I haven’t yet.

I had a couple of interesting conversations with strangers this week and those was also quite impactful, but something my therapist said which really helped me look at it differently was:

What is the meaning you want to assign to it?

This is important since it made me realise the right words— especially the right questions— can make such a big difference. I was taking everything I was thinking and feeling to be the truth, whereas really, I do have some control over how much importance I want to give to events and stimulus and feelings and thoughts.

I feel like I have more things to talk about but I’m not sure what exactly. Social calendar is getting a bit pressurising— even though action and activity is nice, and it’s mostly nice to be around people, I don’t know what part of it is pressurising and draining exactly. Maybe it’s just my introversion needs coming into play. But when I do get time to myself I end up spending a lot of time in my head. So I guess the thing to figure out is how to spend time with myself that is still aligned with what I’ve learnt about action and activity. I think physical activity is the main thing I need to incorporate. I’ve been dancing a lot more and that feels pretty great, actually, but perhaps there’s more room for it.

Alright, I think I have a qualitative plan, I’ll convert this into an action plan next week.

Cheers xx

080b – missions

I’ve been finding things that feel really great and authentic to myself. Missions, I think I could call them. At least, at the moment. Things I’m passionate about, in other words.

Art— this has been consistent for a while now. More of writing, more of music. Write more, sing more, learn to play more instruments. Learn to play instruments better. Learn to sing better. Do more of original writing and original songwriting until it starts to feel like I don’t like or enjoy it.
Healing, meeting my inner self— this has developed over the last couple months. I’m finding that there’s a lot more “experiencing of my soul” that I want to be doing, and that is aligned with one of my biggest values ie authenticity. Only by knowing yourself can you learn to “be” yourself.
Creating and accessing more safe spaces— for myself and others. I find that I really like it when someone tells me they feel safe around me. It feels special. And I feel called to do more of this.
Courage over convenience— what does this mean? I don’t know yet, maybe I mean “whenever possible, courage over convenience”. Of course we don’t want to be reckless and idealistic in a self-destructive way, but in steps, we want to be making the courageous choice as opposed to the convenience choice.
Play, fun, beauty— @britchida says that play is the opposite of survival mode. So of course when things are tough, I will not be engaging in play as much. However, whenever I can, I want to be leaning towards play and fun and beauty. And of course this ties with #1 because art is the one space where I can be playful and have fun even when I’m in survival mode (emotionally, at least).
Sustainability— this is of course the realist and rational part of me that wants to ensure that I approach life from a grounded place. I am at heart a romantic and a dreamer but I need to be an adult, I cannot operate like a child. Sustainability is going to be about that. About not being reckless. About remembering to think things through. Whatever that would mean to me.
Learning— this is another top 5 value of mine. I enjoy learning, I enjoy being good at things. It’s not about validation from other people (though of course I can’t deny that that’s enjoyable too) but it’s more about the kind of doors that can open for you. But that’s secondary, I also just like being good at the things that I enjoy doing, it’s just an inherent thing. I like the processes, I just like learning and deep-diving into certain subjects and gathering more knowledge about them. This also ties to why I like people— because you can learn a lot from people. In ways that you wouldn’t from books and the internet, I think. (I want to write more about this, actually, because it might be important to think more about “what” I want to focus my learning abilities on).

And that’s 80k words! December was a little slow with writing but that’s okay I think. There’s still 10 more days to do more of what I like. Sometimes I feel like I just want the words to keep flowing and never stop. Maybe this will be another thread.

Cheers xx

080a – better to speak, she said

“Is it better to speak or to die?” I’m starting to think it’s always better to speak.

I’m realising I’m perhaps not meant for the mainstream world. I know mainstream is a pretty evolving concept and it’s already been evolving from the previous decade or even the previous five years but what it is right now (especially in my environment) is definitely not where I belong. I really need to change my circles and/or my environment and find my people, my tribe. I definitely don’t belong in the heteronormative world.

Or is that just the anxiety talking? I don’t know. Sometimes we solve for x when we really need to be solving for y, I don’t know.

It’s the middle of the night and I have a long day ahead but I’m unable to sleep. Someone told me sleep problems are caused by a lot of suppressed thoughts and feelings in the subconscious, which would.. make sense, except that it’s hard to access suppressed things, they’re obviously suppressed for a reason.

Thinking about rationality and the heart and the gut a lot today. It can be really nice when they’re all in sync but often they’re not.

I’ve allowed my heart to run my life a lot lately but I might need to listen to rationality a little bit too.

What is rationality, really? Not ignoring evidence, I suppose. I suppose the heart can be a bit of a kid sometimes— stubborn, blind, spoilt, pampered, etc. And rationality, then, would be a bit of parent, or an elder sibling, really showing the heart that you don’t always get what you want and that’s okay. Most people in life don’t get what they want. There is no end to want, anyway.

How do we then make peace with what is? I suppose just facing realities can be a good first step. Acknowledging that what is is what is, even when it’s unpleasant, could be enough.

I always go back to poetry and music when things are tough but I haven’t been able to do that too much this week, not sure why.

How will I ever solve sleep? I don’t know. I need to make more action plans. I can’t just keep sitting with my problems, I need to be working towards movement.

Looking forward to this week though, have a couple of exciting music things lined up, and a couple nice social plans too. Maybe I’ll incorporate some workout too.

Alright alright, we got this. Gratitude, kindness, authenticity, learning, joy, nature— I can keep coming back to all this when things are tough.

079b – orange skies

There’s a bit of orange and a bit of pink in the sky again and I realise I’m safe and happy. The last couple of weeks have been tough but coming back to my parents’ home has started feeling really nice lately. Earlier my dad used to ask me to visit every weekend and I used to feel like I don’t have the time, even though time is something I do have but lately it’s been effortless to make these trips every weekend. Maybe I’ve been needing my parents’ affection a little more and it feels nice to lay next to dad or mom and not think about the troubles of the world.

I told my therapist that I sometimes feel like a kid and it feels like it’s the real me and I feel really alive. She mentioned this could be my inner child talking. Apparently the inner child needs a lot of safety but in this safety you can access parts of yourself that you may really want to integrate in your present self. Will read more on this at some point.

The other day a few of us were talking about problems and I noticed myself being inconsistent. I said that I feel like I have a lot of problems— more than my friends do, but then I was also talking about theories of happiness and when someone challenged one of those theories I felt like I had to state that I am happy. The judgemental part of me thinks I’m being inconsistent but the other part of me knows I’m not. Happiness is fleeting, and just because I have a lot of problems— maybe even big ones— maybe ones that I don’t think most people do— doesn’t mean I can’t feel happy on most days. Or at least, today, I’m happy. Or right now, I’m happy. I mean on most days, isn’t peace and happiness just the ability to feel a variety of emotions and not be resisting them? Time and again we come back to this. And yet when the negative emotions get a lot, we forget this. Or at least, I do. Or at least, I did over the last couple weeks.

I mean this could just be antidepressants talking, but even if that’s the case, why not?

I must admit, lately I’ve been appreciating that financials help a lot with security, etc. I’m glad I made some “wise” choices in terms of financials and education (albeit due to my parents’ influence). This is important to note because then I can continue to make long-term “wise” choices even as I continue to take other risks in the coming medium-term.

I’ve made some progress on my 10-songs project and I’m feeling pretty good about it. I’ve always thought of myself as “sad girl” but lately I’ve been making a lot of silly fun songs too and that feels pretty great.

I keep getting up to go to the balcony to click pictures of the sky and I feel hopeful and calm and optimistic. On that note, I’ll end this.

Hope you have a good week!

079a – rest & recovery (2)

Slept a lot today, woke up towards the tail-end of the afternoon after a very long time. I think sleep, a little bit of laziness and slothness are my primary vices at the moment. I’m not being too hard on myself since it’s December and the anxiety medication has a role to play in the added sleepiness as well, but sleep schedule has always been a problem for me so I don’t want to let it get too out of hand. Getting a good amount of daylight is very important since it really messes up a lot of routinely things. Social commitments, chores, and of course general mood and feelings.

I think I’m ready to start moving towards some stability soon. Which means I’ll have to start looking for part-time work even though I don’t know what kind I want. I think I’m now in the state where creative pursuits can be pursued in parallel, and I don’t need to devote all my waking time to them.

Spoke to a close friend today about some of the stuff I’ve been avoiding and she was super supportive, it was quite nice to receive reassurance and comfort about some of the things I’ve been really fearful of. Resistance towards experimentation, exploration and potential change. But she was of the belief that exploration is worthwhile and can really get you closer to your true, real self and it is generally worth it, even if it’s tough. We’ll see, I guess.

I don’t think I have a lot to write/vomit about today so I’ll keep this one short. What are my intentions for December? I think health is primary and I’ve probably mentioned this before. I was feeling pretty stuck musically but I’ve been getting melody ideas again so that’s nice. I do need to come back to songs and summon some discipline though so I can complete some of these ideas I have. I don’t know why it becomes so tough in certain weeks. I had a nice couple weeks in November when I was wrapping up a lot of loose threads, I’d love to be able to operate the same way again. I guess I just need to get over myself and do it. But can you really gaslight yourself into doing things? I don’t know. I’ll find out, I’ll make some time post-dinner today.

Community stuff has been nice, I’ve met some nice people lately and also been spending more pleasant time with parents and old friends who keep visiting. Winters makes everything a little tougher but I guess there aren’t a lot of good solutions for this. Maybe I just invest in better clothing though.

Alright so what are my priorities for this week and the next?

Wrap up a couple songs (at least first drafts)
Get some health related tasks done
Continue writing word-vomits if not essays
Maybe make some time for dating if I can

Sounds good enough, I’ll write later!