Well, after this post I’ll have written 20k words in the last month, and I’m kind of proud of having reached this milestone! I know the pace for the rest 80k is almost certainly not going to be the same, not even sure if I’ll reach that point, but it’s good to have come so far. I think I can afford to reward myself with another meta-post.
Words flow easier now, thoughts get stylized easier too. Maybe some of it is placebo, maybe some of it’s real. Regardless, I love it. It’s definitely easier to write a 500 word post as opposed to a 1000 word post, but it’s a compromise I’m okay making from time to time. Happy that it allows me to keep moving.
I have more drafts sitting in my word editors now, I have more half-formed stories waiting to be completed. It’s a good feeling. I have enjoyed this process with photography and music before, but it’s nice to be able to enjoy it with writing too. Part of me worries that at some point I’ll get sick of writing meta-posts and sick of writing about my own thoughts and feelings, but another part of me knows that when (or if) I weed through all of it some fun stuff might come up too.
Since I’m sitting here reflecting again, I want to think about the few things that might keep me going forward:
- Creating feedback loops for writing more
- Thinking about what people might want to read
- Organizing and structuring more / Writing about a single topic as opposed to only free-writing
- Not being afraid of writing about scarier (for the lack of a better word) topics like loneliness, heartbreak, sadness, depression, anxiety, therapy (I do a decent amount of it but it’s still not enough.)
I’m watching my mother go crazy with knitting (a hobby she picked back up recently, after many years) and I feel aligned with this stint of hers in some ways. She makes a clothing item a day, I write a post once every few days. It’s all about connecting the dots, isn’t it? Dots that don’t necessarily connect for anyone else, except perhaps our own selves.
Sometimes I think everything can connect, if you want it to. Every little action can be a metaphor, every word a story. Every story a goldmine, every person a landscape. Every landscape art, every piece of art magic.
Don’t really have much to write about anymore so I’m distracting myself with food and coffee. Not the best idea, perhaps. But it’s not that easy to write a 100 words more when you’re kind of out of thoughts.
I’ve been going on a lot of walks lately, it’s a nice habit that I want to keep up. Getting that time and space to think, think about difficult things without necessarily having to feel the related physical feelings. It’s peaceful in a way very few activities can be.
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