Last week was a busy week. It was a decent week, though. Lots of ups and downs— but lots of rich moments and experiences, so that’s been nice. A good amount of movement on small tasks and things I’ve been wanting to do for a while now, so that feels great.
However, I’m a little tired of all evaluative aspects of my life. Or the fact that I’m approaching all aspects of my life with an evaluative lens (maybe because I feel like I need to “figure things out”). I think the most confusing part of life is work and career. I feel pulled in many directions and a part of me knows picking something can be important to “move” but part of me is also not okay with giving up certain things.
Although I told myself last week that I’m NOT actually pulled in too many directions, ie it’s manageable if I don’t want to give up any of them yet, I think I get triggered when something new inspires me in a way that I feel like acting upon it immediately. Basically, I get triggered when something (a new piece of information, event, experience, stimulus etc) makes me question or doubt my prioritisations that I may have done. What does this mean for me? I suppose it just means that I go over why I’ve currently prioritised tasks/projects the way I have and then just trust that reasoning. And then treat new piece of stimulus as important enough to maybe “make a note of” but then not go into a reprioritisation exercise every-time I do get triggered.
I guess there’s still a lot more scope for action over thinking on a daily basis. That’s essentially where the dissatisfaction is coming from. Even if I need to reflect or “think”, I should only be doing it in the written / journal / notes form. Thinking within my brain is definitely not helping me at all. In fact, it’s starting to become a major blocker / time-sink.
Open Questions / Todos:
- Reflections on art and in what ways I like to engage, are there limits? Can I add 1-2 hours of structured learning a week so that I can make more progress on the skills I want to improve on? Should these skills only be pursued if I aim to “make” something out of them (ie a career) or can I trust that learning for the sake of learning is fine too?
- I’ve been thinking that I want to start looking for part-time jobs or internship opportunities probably in Jan / Feb. Does that feel okay and if not— why?
- I’ve been wanting to make a short trip to a hilly destination for a while now but haven’t been able to make this a priority yet.. though I’m not sure why. So yeah I suppose I should prioritise this now.
- I’ve been giving 3-4 hours a week to volunteer work, but it’s been a bit draining and I’ve had more requests come to me. I do want to continue to do this though, so I need to figure out a way that I can plan this better so it can be a little easier on me.
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